Monday Morning Assessment

Weekend Damage Report

Answer 12 quick questions about your weekend — sleep lost, money spent, food crimes, regrets accumulated — and get your official damage score with a recovery time estimate.

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12Questions
6Damage Levels
60sTo Complete
Weekend Damage Report
Official Assessment
REF: WDR-2025-MON
Patient
You, probably
Date filed
Monday, 9am
Last seen
Functioning adult
Status
⚠ Compromised
😴 Sleep lost
88%
💸 Money spent
75%
🍔 Food quality
60%
🤦 Regrets filed
90%
🏃 Exercise done
10%
Full Body Shutdown
Recovery time4.5 days
The Scale

6 Levels of Weekend Damage

From barely dented to completely written off. Where did yours land?

0–20 Squeaky Clean Walks, good sleep, sensible food. Suspicious behaviour for a weekend. 0 days recovery
21–40 Mild Dent A couple of late nights. Nothing that won't sort itself out by Tuesday. 1 day recovery
41–60 Notable Damage Things got away from you. You'll be fine. Eventually. 2.5 days recovery
61–75 Significant Incident Multiple systems compromised. The body is keeping score. 3.5 days recovery
76–90 Full Body Shutdown Weekend: 1. You: 0. Recalibration required immediately. 4.5 days recovery
91–100 Total Write-Off A historic event. You should call someone. Not us. Someone who loves you. Rest of week
What We Measure

12 Damage Categories

A comprehensive assessment of weekend-related incidents.

😴

Sleep Lost

Hours below your usual. Every one counts.

💸

Money Spent

The damage to the account. Approximate is fine.

🍺

Drinks Had

Units consumed. Honest self-assessment.

🍔

Food Quality

Nutritional content of the weekend's intake.

🏃

Exercise Done

Or spectacularly not done. Either way.

🤦

Regrets Filed

Things you'd do differently. Be honest.

📱

Screen Time

Hours of mindless scrolling. We all do it.

🛁

Self Care

Shower, sleep routine, basic human maintenance.

📞

Things Said

Texts, calls, or statements you're rethinking.

🌅

Sunday Dread

The creeping anxiety as Monday approaches.

💊

Remedies Taken

Paracetamol, Lucozade, Berocca. The usual suspects.

🎯

Plans Cancelled

Commitments abandoned in favour of the sofa.

How bad was
your weekend?

// file your official damage report. takes 60 seconds. //

File My Report →